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My feelings fall like leaves in autumn...
20 most recent entries

Date:2005-11-09 01:23
Subject:Autumn left its red and brown trail on the roads...and I am forced to follow them...
Mood: hungry

Well, it was a long day. Not really, it was just as long as any other day, but it could have been better. I woke up around noon, went to Windsors to get milk for the cereal that I really wanted and felt I needed. I ate it. It was pretty good. Then I went to Holly's. She had just gotten out of the bath. She's really sick. When she was walking to her room she said she couldn't see, so I went to talk to her and she walked straight into her dresser. So I helped her up and onto her bed then took her temperature (which was 103.5) I was going to take her to the hospital if her temperature hadn't come down within the next half hour, it did though, thank God. Poor girl. Anyway, we layed in bed and wathced her soaps for a bit, then I went home and showered. When I got back we watched more TV downstairs in her family room and sorted through pictures I had recently taken. I was glad I got to see Holly. I needed my daily fix. lol

I had to leave Holly's early because I had class tonight. Class was pretty slow and boring. After class I went to the firehouse and hung out with Greirson for a little bit, then got tired and bored so I decided to come home around midnight. And that leads me to typing this. lol

Well, I think I'm going to go lay in bed, read, and wait for the morning to come. Goodnight everyone.


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Date:2005-11-07 01:25
Subject:Laughs, giggles, and ice cube fights...
Mood: tired

Once again, another amazing day. I woke Holly up because she was a little late for class, but all was well. I brought her Taco Bell for lunch and gave her many kisses and hugs. :) Then, I went with her to her second class. While she was in class I took her car, filled it with gas, bought her flowers and brought her car back to the campus. I tried being a little sneaky and I put the flowers on the drivers seat of her car, then covered them with my jacket. Then, my camera and I awaited for her to get out of her class. When she got out we went down to her car where I opened the door for her then gave her the keys...she was so unsuspecting. lol She saw my jacket and was like "Oh...thanks," but before she could even finish her sarcastic remark she removed the jacket and saw the pretty flowers sitting there waiting. She smiled big and gave me and even bigger hug. Which in turn made me smile and take many pictures. After that she had to take me home because I had class. Class was okay. We got out an hour early so I went to Holly's. She had just gotten out of the shower and looked SO cute. We ate pie and watched Laguna Beach and 17. Two of her most favorite shows. Well I know Laguna Beach is atleast, I'm not sure about 17. lol. Anyways, we had our fun, giggles and ice cube fights and then it was time for me to leave. :( After I left her house I went to the firehouse for a little bit which was quite uneventful but that's okay. I got bored and tired so I decided to come home, which leads to me to this.

Well, as I said before I'm quite tired but I promised Holly I would update, so...here you go Holly. :)

Goodnight everyone, I hope your day goes good tomorrow.

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Date:2005-11-05 23:01
Subject:It's more of a winter green, than a summer green. I mean, even envy's green...
Mood: loved

Ah, refreshing dark. The absolute solace of the american soul. Where is one's character in times of deep thought, regret, or happiness. In the light? No. No of course not, he doesn't want to be seen. He doesn't want to be scene. No. In the dark. In the dark, where he can reflect. Where he can think about the days good fortunes. So here I am, sitting in the dark. Solace. Complete. Conquered. So many thoughts use to sit dazing, dangling, dancing in my head like a show on a stage. But when I turn out the lights its like...the curtains drop unannounced. The show ended unscripted. And here I am, alone, allured, aloud. Here I am with all those thoughts...gone. In the dark. All those thoughts also lay in the dark, no where to be found. Good riddance. Here I am.
Today was a good day. If I do say so myself. I woke up at 9:30. Not by choice but function. Holly was planning on doing her botany independent study today. But we were like, no. Fuck it. So we didn't go. Instead we walked around the neighborhood, and took pictures. The trees looked pretty, if you haven't noticed. I like the way the leaves ditch and dodge as they fall to the earth like little suicidal pieces of...regret. They slip and slide through the air. I like the way they form natural collages on the ground. Like some one took a giant paint brush and dabbed it all over the once green trees. Then he didn't like his artwork so he ripped it up and threw it everywhere. How could some one's trash look so beautiful?
After we were done taking pictures we went back to Holly's house. We watched Laguna Beach and that show about the Brady guy. I had fun. Her dad brought us chicken. Chicken and mashed potatoes. If I could express my love to mashed potatoes, I would. But for now I'll stick to eating them. After the food we watched some more TV. Then we went down to the basement and had a nice chat. I love when you can just talk to some one for hours and not even realize how much time went by. It's just so amazing. After all the fun it was time for me to leave once again. So I got up. And left.
Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking "Ryan, how could you just leave like that?" Well. Let me tell you, it wasn't easy. I believe a very genius man once said "Parting is such, sweet sorrow." And yes, tis true. Tis tried and true to the fullest. I hate making parts but I die to dream to see such an angelic face when I awake. And yes, she'll be there when I awake. I love going home, and going straight to bed. Because all I look forward to is her face. All I look forward to is seeing her again the very next day. Such a subtle routine is such a thrilling excitement for me. And I love it.
Well, anyways...tomorrow I need to go to the bank. I just need to. And after that I'm meeting Holly at Taco Bell after her first class for some lunch. And then, I don't know what. I have class tomorrow night. I'm kind of excited but it's an exciting class. But still, I'd rather be with Holly.
Alright, I'm sure I've lost you by now, or you got bored you mindless little children. Well, goodnight if you're still reading.

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Date:2005-11-05 01:09
Subject:Good things always follow...
Mood: happy

Well today was okay. I got home from work around 7 30 this morning.(Which, btw I got two paychecks last night :] ) As soon as I got home I puked my brains out again. So I pretty much went straight to sleep. I woke up around 2 ish this evening and felt almost perfectly fine except for this slight, scratchy pain in my throat. I got online and talked to Holly. Then I went and ate lunch and took my temperature (which has drastically gone down. Although it's still over 100), then I got back online and Holly was mad at me for God knows why. Haha, but it's okay, she's a girl she's allowed to get mad at me for no reason. lol. So I showered and got ready then went over her house to suprise her. She told me she didn't want me to do that but I was all like "suck it bitch." Mkay that's not really how it went down, but it was pretty close to it. We hung out at HoHo's house for a little then we went to the mall with my family. It was my mom, my dad, my sister, her friend, Holly and me. What a car ride. lol. We didn't really do much at the mall, due to our lack of funds, but we still had fun, or atleast I did. I think Holly would have rather been at my house (because no one was home lol) but I had fun regaurdless. Holly wants me to wake up at 9 30 tomorrow morning so she can do an independant study at botanical gardens in DC. 9 30!? She's gotta be crazy. I bet the girl wont even be up by then. lol Nah, it's cool. I'd do it for her.

So, I pretty much had a good day I guess. It started off a little sluggish and incomplete but good things always follow. As for tomorrow...that's a different story. We'll see if my lazy butt can get out of bed that early in the morning. lol. Anyways, I had yet another awesome night with the same awesome girl. I feel so lucky to have such a beautiful and special person in my life. Every day I count my blessings. Thank you Holly, for such a wonderful time tonight. :)

Well, as I end most of my entries. I'm goin to bed, ya'll have a nice night. Later.

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Date:2005-11-02 22:48
Subject:It's been a while...
Mood: sick

Hey guys, I realize it's been a while since I've updated this thing. I'm not sure how often I'm going to update, but I think I'm gonna keep updating.

Well today was pretty bad. I've been sick with the flu since like...midnight. Holly and I got into an argument but it's okay, she was just stressed. lol. I went over her house around 8 30 and we pretty much chilled and talked about our days. We watched South Park, which is cool because South Park is hilarious. I'm sure what I'm doing tomorrow. Holly said she might come over, and I believe we're going to the movies. I'm not sure if I wanna see Jarhead or Saw 2. Both look pretty good. Holly doesn't like scary movies but I told her it'd be okay cause I'd be there. But yeah, anywho.

I guess that's it for now. I'mma hit the sack. Ya'll have a nice night. Later.

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Date:2005-06-30 10:22

I got bored and did some quizzes and what not...

Your Birthdate: February 12

Being born on the 12th day of the month (3 energy) is likely to add a good bit of vitality to your life.

The energy of 3 allows you bounce back rapidly from setbacks, physical or mental.

There is a restlessness in your nature, but you seem to be able to portray an easygoing, sometimes "couldn't care less" attitude.

You have a natural ability to express yourself in public, and you always make a very good impression.

Good with words, you excel in writing, speaking, and possibly singing.

You are energetic and always a good conversationalist.

You have a keen imagination, but you tend to scatter your energies and become involved with too may superficial matters.

Your mind is practical and rational despite this tendency to jump about.

You are affectionate and loving - but very sensitive.

You are subject to rapid ups and downs.

Your Deadly Sins

Envy: 40%

Gluttony: 20%

Greed: 20%

Lust: 20%

Pride: 20%

Sloth: 20%

Wrath: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 20%

You will die a boring death. While dying, you will be jealous of those who die dramatic deaths.

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.

You'd like to your lover to think you are optimistic and happy.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

Part Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity
You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off
And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave
When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

Part Passionate Kisser

For you, kissing is about all about following your urges
If someone's hot, you'll go in for the kiss - end of story
You can keep any relationship hot with your steamy kisses
A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble

You Are 26 Years Old


Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

R is for Refreshing
Y is for Young
A is for Active
N is for Neglected

You Know You're From Maryland When...

You know more than 10 people who own boats and they all park them at the same marina in Annapolis

You can pronounce and spell "Pocomoke," "Mattaponi," "Accokeek," and "Havre de Grace"

You prononce "Bowie" BOO-ie not BOW-ie or BAUW-ie

1 hour is an easy commute to work

You have more than three recipies for crabcakes

French fries just don't taste right without Old Bay

There are more than two crab places in your town

Even your high school cafeteria made good crabcakes

You got your first lacrosse stick before you were six years old

You call all turtles "terrapins"

You refer to your state as "Merlind"

Your mother shops at Hecht's

You still call Six Flags America "Adventure World", or even "Wild World"

You still remember the Wild World commercial (Wild World's the cure for the summertime blues!)

You can tell the difference between the smells of septic and marsh.

You not only know how to eat hard crabs but you also know how to catch them, cook them and tell the males from the females.

You don't think that Assawoman Bay is a strange name for a body of water.

You know perfectly well why Rehoboth is called "Little San Francisco"

M R Ducks makes perfect sense.

So does C M Wangs.

You think Salisbury is a big city.

You think of dumplings as wet slippery squares of boiled dough.

You and your boss take off of work when the fish are running or the ducks are flying in.

You've eaten muskrat at a church dinner but think it's better the way you fix it.

You think of "Dairy Queen" as a pageant title and not a place to get an ice cream.

"Formal wear" is a ball cap, a flannel shirt and Timberlands.

You still root for the Orioles even when they suck

You'll never understand why tourists come to DC.

When in Florida, you can only laugh when you see signs saying "Real Maryland Blue Crab Cakes!"

You color with "Crowns", take a "Share" with "Wooter" and think the president lives in "Warshenton."

You know the difference between Glen Burnie ghetto and Catonsville ghetto.

Your whole family lives within a 200 mile radius of your town.

Dale Earnhardt's accident was a close personal loss to your father

At least one man in your family is a waterman

You plan for "The Festival" a year in advance.

During the summer, you spend more time in Ocean City than at home.

Margret Heater, Hedspace, Jepetto, Outside Joke and Mary Prankster are people you think are "Famous"

Your radio dial is stuck on 99.1

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Maryland.

Your #1 Love Type: ENFP

The Inspirer

In love, you are passionate and eager to develop a strong bond.
For you, sex should be playful, creative, and affectionate.

Overall, you are perceptive and bring out the best in your partner.
However, you tend to hold on to bad relationships after they've turned bad.

Best matches: INTJ and INFJ

Your #2 Love Type: ENFJ

The Giver

In love, you give your all and feel guilty when relationships fail.
For you, sex is not seperate from love and caring.

Overall, you are humorous, giving, and motivational.
However, you tend to be over-protective and critical of your partner.

Best matches: INFP or ISFP

Your #3 Love Type: ESFP

The Performer

In love, you relish every moment and tend to get caught up in passion.
For you, sex is how you get in touch with all your senses.

Overall, you are creative, popular, and flexible.
However, you tend to dislike criticism and avoid any conflict.

Best matches: ISTJ or ISFJ

Your #4 Love Type: ESFJ

The Caregiver

In love, you are very giving. You give your sweetie a lot of special attention.
For you, sex should be warm and intimate... a way to give and share love.

Overall, you are upbeat, kind, and affectionate.
However, you tend to also be a bit needy and manipulative at times.

Best matches: ISFP or INFP

Your #5 Love Type: ENTP

The Visionary

In love, you are always trying to improve and grow your relationship.
For you, sex should be a spontaneous adventure.

Overall, you are magnetic, inspiring, and a charmer.
However, you tend to get bored and want to change partners frequently.

Best matches: INFJ and INTJ

Your Extroversion Profile:

Cheerfulness: Very High
Friendliness: Very High
Activity Level: High
Assertiveness: High
Excitement Seeking: High
Sociability: High

Your Summer Love Style is Sultry
You make a hot summer night just a little bit hotter.
For you, summer is all about letting go of any inhibitions.
You're not shy about getting what you want this summer - and lots of it.
Love is the last thing on your mind, but you'll have plenty to keep you busy.

Your Expression Number is 3
A natural performer, your destiny lies in writing, speaking, acting, or teaching.
Imaginative and unique, you have a natural creative talent in the arts.
You're also a natural salesperson. You can easily sell your ideas and yourself.

A total optimist, you are enthusiastic about life and living.
You are friendly and social - and people are taken by your charm.
Your role in life is to inspire, motivate, and raise others' spirits.

At times, you can seem a bit superficial.
Sometimes you're a bit unfocused and too easygoing.
You're best off when you don't dwell on trivial matters, especially gossip.

Your Dominant Thinking Style:


You are very insightful and tend to make decisions based on your insights.
You focus on how things should be - even if you haven't worked out the details.

An idealist, thinking of the future helps you guide your path.
You tend to give others long-term direction and momentum.

Your Secondary Thinking Style:


You're all about looking at the facts, and you could always use more of them.
You see life as your lab - and you're always trying out new things, people, and ideas.

The master of mix and match, you're always coming up with unique combinations.
You are good at getting a group to reach consensus.

Your #1 Match: ENFJ

The Giver

You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed.
Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections.
Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down.
You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine.

You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist.

You Are 50% Normal

(Somewhat Normal)

While some of your behavior is quite normal...

Other things you do are downright strange

You've got a little of your freak going on

But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

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Date:2005-06-19 12:38
Mood: loved

The True You

You want your girlfriend or boyfriend to be more relaxed, calm, and composed.
With respect to money, you spend whatever you have.
You think good luck doesn't exist - reality is built on practicalities.
The hidden side of your personality tends to be satisfied to care for things with a minimal amount of effort.
You are tend to think about others' feelings a lot, perhaps because you are so eager to be liked.
When it comes to finding a romantic partner, you base your search on information from your friends.

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Date:2005-03-21 10:15
Mood: tired

Well this week has been alright. Holly's parents are out of town. For some reason it feels like mine are out of town too. lol. Maybe cause they feel like family? Iunno. But anywho.

Friday and saturday I had work, Holly drove me to and from and we hung out before and after work. Yesterday, sunday, I had work in the morning. I had to call Holly at 9 45 in the morning to get a ride cause my mom's truck broke down so she needed to borrow mine. Sorry Holly. Then she picked me up after work and we hung out at Taco Bell with Ryan Manley, Brandon Creech and Mike Fitzwater. That was definetly entertaining. Then we went to the show at Red Hot & Blue. Honestly I think it was a waste of money. The "bouncers," or whatever they were, were stupid, most of the music was lame (especially that whole ICP/Calvert Couny Fo' Lyfe thing goin on), and it was really hot in there. But I enjoyed it because Holly was there with me. We took Robbie home. Haha, random...I know.

When Holly dropped me off we got into a fight, :/ My fault. I'm sorry. REALLY sorry.

But today I have work 4-10. I really don't want to go. :( Hopefully I can hang out with Holly first. Iunno, she's not awake yet, but I think I'm going to call her and wake her up.

That's all today guys. Later.

I love you Holly, even though I can be a baby sometimes... <3

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Date:2005-03-09 23:06
Mood: tired

Wow.  This has been the best year ever.  No doubt.  Sure, it's had its ups and downs, but what relationship doesnt.  I'm SO happy to be with this girl.  She's amazing.  She can turn any bad day into a good one.  I didn't think we would make it, but we did.  And I'm glad.  I'm so glad.  I appreciate her so much.  She's sweet, caring, beautiful, smart, and straight hot. lol  It's so true too.

Well today sucked.  I had school...and then work.  No Holly.  :(  I guess I'll see her tomorrow.  Hopefully atleast, I'm going through serious withdrawl.  Siiighh.

I've been so tired recently.  I need to get to sleep earlier, it's really effecting my school work.  Eep.

Right now Holly's a little upset with me.  So I would just like to take a moment and apollogize to her:

            Holly, you know I love you.  You know you're the world to me and I couldn't go a day without missing you.  I would never leave you or find some one else.  No one could ever replace you.  You're the best of the best.  And I know that.  You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I would never let anything else get in the way of that.  I love you Angel, don't let stupid things cloud our love.  That's how we end up hurt.  I understand it's hard to trust me, but I'll prove that I'd never hurt you.  You're such a princess, and you deserve everything.


Okay, I feel better, a little.  Well not really, I guess I should delete them.


But anywho, I should be getting to sleep.  But I'll prolly talk to Holly for ever on the phone.  Not that I don't like that.  I LOVE that infact, it's just I need my sleep.



Sorry if this seems terribly random.


But, I'm out.  Bye guys.


I love you Holly Wilding. :)

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Date:2005-02-27 22:46
Subject:It was still a good day anyways. :) <3
Mood: loved

Today was a good day. :)

That is untill Holly twisted her ankle. :X See we were jumping on her trampoline, right. Having fun and giggling as usual. But then - BANG. Her ankle. Twisted. SICK. So I carried her inside. She looked so sad. :( I kissed it though, so it's okay now. Sike, it still hurts she said. :(


Well, work sucks. It takes up time. But it gets me money. Money I can use to take Holly on dates. REAL dates. With my OWN money. lol

So, with that said I miss Holly already. :X is that bad? NAH. And if you think it is...then you can speak to ME. Or Holly, cause I don't like confrontations. :(

I'm going to stop being an idiot.

Holly and I took some super cute pictures. Er. Not to sound gay. But some cool pictures tonight, of us. I like them. :)

This is getting random because so much has happened these past few days and I can't really think on one track right now. lol

I miss Holly. :(

Well, I guess I'll stop blabbing. I'll update later - or whenever I can calm my brain down. :P

Later guys!

Holly is my p r i n c e s s and I'm her puhteddy bear. =]

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Date:2005-02-25 12:33
Subject:I don't wanna work today! =(
Mood: tired

Despite our bumps we can work through anything. I know we're meant to be, Holly and I. I just know it. And I would do anything to make it happen. I love that girl so much, and I know she loves me the same. There's not one thing I wouldn't do for her. We talked on the phone for like 4 hours last night. It was so awesome. She's simply amazing. <3

On another note - I don't want to work today. People can make their own dang quesadillas. =)

We didn't have school yesterday, so that means I don't have to take my EMT test till tuesday. WOOHOO. And we also didn't have school today. So i'm kind of hoping to see Holly before work, but she isn't fully up yet. So I don't wanna irritate her. I WILL bring her some tacos tonight though. :D

And, I guess that's it. I hope this weekend's good. Sike. I have work tonight and tomorrow night. Plus Holly's friend Bethany's gonna be in town so I'm gonna be all by my lonesome. ...maybe Jesse will wanna hang out? lol Iunno, maybe I'll sleep. Yeah...sleep sounds good. mmmm...sleep.

Hmm, I don't know much to say now. So, I'll talk to y'all later. Peace.

Holly is the coolest. The coolest. The coolest girlfriend ever!

4 comments | post a comment

Date:2005-02-22 05:39
Mood: depressed

Holly Noel Wilding,

I love you to pieces. You've always been there for me. I try the best I can to make you happy, and it wont stop now. You are everything to me, and that's the way I like it. I don't WANT that to change in any way. Sometimes I just need to stop and think. Think about how beautiful you are and how much I can hurt you. And you don't deserve that. I hate myself for being this way. You're as beautiful as a pacific sunrise, even your eyes reflect an ocean glare. And I need you so much, just to get through the day. I hate feeling this way, it's hard just WANTING to go to school, let alone having to do it. All I want to do is run over to your house right now and ask you why. Why!? But I know I can't. Maybe you don't want to see me today, but I NEED to see you. So despite what's going on I have to see you. I don't think I could go a day without you by my side. I already miss you so much. I miss you more than anything right now. This one particular feeling is one that I hate with a passion. Holly, you are my Angel, and nothing's going to EVER change that. So please, take me back to the place I feel safest - with you. I need you. I want you. I love you.

You are my sunshine.
My only sunshine.
You make me happy,
When skies are grey.
You'll never know dear,
How much I love you.
So please don't take my sunshine away.

Sincerely yours,
Your luscious RyRy

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Date:2005-02-19 11:59
Mood: bored

Well yesterday was awesome. Holly and I were supposed to go to Applebees but she wasn't feeling well, so we just hung out at my house. Today she said if she was feeling better we could go.

My mom's at work, my dad and sister are at a cheerleading competition and Holly's asleep. I'm so bored. :( I've been watching MTV all morning - that's how bored I am. lol That's okay, I'm gonna wake Holly up in a little bit. :D

Well, We have a three day weekend! Woohoo! But the only thing is, Holly still has school on Monday.
:( Oh well.

But, I guess I should go shower and what not.



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Date:2005-02-17 14:58
Mood: loved

These past few days I haven't really been acting myself. Now i'm starting to realize it. I need to stop, seriously, if I don't I could lose some of the most important things in my life, Holly being the main one. And I DON'T want to lose her.

I love you to death Holly. You've been there for me ever since we met. Even over summer, I knew you were still there to me. You're everything to me, and you should know that. I love you to pieces, and there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. You truly are my Angel. Thank you.

<3 I love you Holly Noel Wilding <3

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Date:2005-02-13 10:51
Mood: exhausted

So Friday my parents took Holly and I to the Outback.  I loved it so much.


That's my mom and Holly waiting to leave.



Then yesterday was my birthday, and Holly came over cause my family was gone.  I love her so much.  I guess I'm such a let down though. :/ 


I love you Holly Noel Wilding - Don't you EVER forget that.

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Date:2005-02-08 22:29
Subject:"You'll update if you TRUELY love me..."
Mood: nostalgic

Well, I truely love her guys. :) I just got back from class/the firehouse. I'm kind of bummed that I didn't get to see Holly after class, but I did get to see her before. I met her at CSM and we hung out for a bit after her class, but then I had to go to the firehouse to take pictures for photography class, then I had to go to EMT class. Sigh. I miss her. :(

Well I hope tomorrow is a more interesting school day than today was. Wait, it's school, it's always boring. Ha...ha?

I have a REALLY good idea for Holly for Valentines day. I kind of want to say what it is, but it's a HUGE suprise. But she's going to love it. After I do it I'll let you guys know what I did. When I say "you guys" I mean the two people that read this - Holly and Nathan. And sometimes Timmy. lol

I'm really tired. Last night I was writing in my personal journal and I fell asleep. I woke up laying on the pen and I hadn't even finished my thought. I feel terrible though becuase evidentally Holly called me alot but I was so knocked out to even hear it. :( Good thing I'm on the phone with her right now. :D

Iunno what I'm doin tomorrow, Hopefully hanging out with Holly. If I have a truck it'll be easier. Sometimes when she gets out of class she's really annoyed and I seem to make it worse, so when I ask her to come over I get yelled at. "You guys act like a married couple." Yeah yeah yeah. I love it. So what. "DEAL!" - in the words of Holly. :)

Okay, I now believe I'm running out of things to talk about. Other than me needing to bring up my Algebra 2 grade so I don't fail my senior year, I think everything else in my life is going P-E-R-F-E-C-T. And that is awesome. Although, I kind of miss Nathan. We haven't been talking all that much lately, if at all really. But I know he still loves me (like a friend, sick freaks) and I still love him (like a friend, sick freaks). Hopefully I get to see him soon.

Well, I guess I wont keep Holly waiting any longer. Later!

I love you more than words could describe, your presence is like that of a thousands Angels. Heaven casts a light over your shining halo. And for that, I wouldn't trade a million dollars.
^^ To: Holly (A.K.A. My Angel) ^^

PS. I wrote that myself. :D <3

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Date:2005-02-04 16:56
Mood: hungry

Well, I kept telling Holly I would update, but I never did. So, I'm updating now. :) Iunno what I'm doing tonight. I think we're gonna go to McDonalds. Well I hope so atleast cause I'm starvin. She's not feeling well, so we prolly wont go, but that's okay cause I love her anyways.

Man, she's so awesome. :)
Today school was boring, but that's okay because we had a two hour early dismissal. Woohoo.

Well, I really don't know what to say, I keep saying the same thing: "Holly's the best girlfriend ever." lol. It's not a bad thing but I think she gets tired of reading that. lol. So I guess I'll go. Later.

Holly's the best girlfriend ever... teehee. :)

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Date:2005-01-26 22:25
Subject:Holly Wilding is the best girlfriend EVER! :D
Mood: loved

Well, I just took Holly home. :( Withdrawl kicking in about now. Well, I pinky promised her I would update this tonight, so, here I am updating this. lol. I had an awesome day (which ironically started after school.) As soon as I got home I went to Holly's school and met her at her classroom. Okay, okay, she knew I was going to, but still, it was special anyways. :) Then we went back to her house and made ant brownies. Yes, brownies that had ants in them. She has ants in her house, and they were in the brownies. But she made the good observation that they wouldn't be raw, yet they were actually COOKED ants, so that made it okay. lol. I'm thinking tomorrow I might meet her after class again. :D Iunno, we'll see if I have a car. Ya know, I think people don't understand Holly and I's relationship. I think most people see her as this girlfriend that I'm overly obsessed with. (which i am) But really, she's alot more than that. Yeah, she IS my girlfriend, but what ALOT of people don't see is that she's my BEST friend. I mean, she's with me all the time, and I like it. I find comfort in it. She can talk me through rough situations. Even when I make her sad, we end up laughing. And vice versa. I know I can call her at like, 5 in the morning if I had a problem, or even if I just miss her. Even through the very, VERY rough times we've had, she's stuck with me. And I feel terrible for every bit of pain I put her through. Even to this day I hate myself for the mistakes I've made. She's so beautiful. Every little thing about her is beautiful. I love the scent of her hair. I love how her skin is so smooth. I love how she looks gorgeous even when she's been sick and hasn't showered for three days. I love it all. And most of all I love her. There's not one thing I wouldn't do to make her smile. And I know our relationship will never end. Through everything I've put her through, I KNOW she's my one. She's my only. No one could ever come CLOSE to comparing with her.

Well, I miss her terribly right now, so I'm going to go call her. I just made this update to say how much I love my Holly Wilding. And that she's the best ever. Her smile just can't be beat.


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Date:2005-01-26 05:36

Holly is the best girlfriend in the world.
I love her to death.

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Date:2005-01-09 08:49
Mood: loved

Well, last night was awesome. holly and I hung out. We went to Walmart and then we went back to my house and watched Gothika. That movie was way scary. But, iunno what we're doin today. I'm so tired, I have no clue why I'm up, I think I'm gonna go back to bed. But, I'll talk to ya'll later. Peace.

I love you Holly. You're the best ever. :) <33

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